Mental Health
The Courage it Takes to Be Happy
Lately, I’ve been mulling over the courage it takes to be happy. Not the Instagram performance “happy.” Truly, sincerely, happy. There is significant research on happiness (Dr. Santo’s lab, The Happiness Research Institute, Dr. Ed’s Stuff, Shawn Anchor who is meh, Google Scholar pieces here, it’s ENDLESS). We know empirically that joy > happiness (one (…)
Meaningful Text Series: The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner
If there is one psychologist whose work has influenced my life more than anyone, it’s Dr. Harriet Lerner. And Dr. Ramani. And Dr. Eger. And Dr. Judith Herman. Ok, there are many. But if you don’t know who Dr. Lerner is, this podcast is a good place to start. Dr. Lerner’s book The Dance of Anger (terrible title, wonderful book) quite literally blew (…)
Livin the Dream (But Whose Dream Is It?)
Dreaming is a topic we reserve for Kindergarten and elementary school. I move we upgrade this topic to an adult one because we’re making a royal mess of it lately. We’ve confused dreams with escapism and naivety. And we’ve normalized pedestaling the dreams of those who came before us over our own, resulting in outcomes (…)
What I Would Like For Mother’s Day
About eight years ago I was at a conference that was mostly a waste of time until the last day when I found myself at a round table with the Patron Saint of Relationship Wisdom, Dr. Esther Perel. I couldn’t tell you what someone like Esther was doing at this godforsaken conference, but I’m thrilled she (…)
The Media’s Integrity Problem
Last week, I shared that I had experienced an unexpected and very sudden divorce. What I didn’t share was thanks to the very public nature of my ex-husband’s job, I had a front-row seat to the vitriolic and unethical world of politics and media – and the absolutely corrupt and coordinated relationship between them. I (…)
The Subversive Power of Knowing Your Own Mind
I recently was thrust unexpectedly and unwillingly back into the world of dating. As someone curious about human psychology, it’s been a fascinating gift of content and anthropologic insight. But as a human being with thoughts, feelings, needs, and wants – especially one conditioned as a cishet female – it is horrible. The actual dating (…)
The Physics of Psychology
Today, we know that using a seatbelt prevents death, washing your hands prevents spreading disease and infection, and wearing a helmet prevents concussions. If someone you know bragged about never washing their hands, you would look at them with concern. And, yet, this is precisely what we do with psychology. We boast about never needing (…)
Why We Don’t Tell People About Our Dreams
My first job after college was as a research assistant in a psychiatric research clinic. Part of my job was to conduct assessments of potential participants in our studies on major depression and anxiety. In psychiatry and psychology, since we lack reliable biometrics (for now), we’re reliant on self-report to get an assessment of your (…)