Personal Growth
The False Dichotemy of Work and Fun
Netflix has an autoplay feature that is both helpful and deeply annoying if you just want the TV on in the background and aren’t looking for a trailer of whatever you left your remote pointing at. I had just turned on Netflix when it recommended a series about Work to which I thought hmmm. I (…)
What I Would Like For Mother’s Day
About eight years ago I was at a conference that was mostly a waste of time until the last day when I found myself at a round table with the Patron Saint of Relationship Wisdom, Dr. Esther Perel. I couldn’t tell you what someone like Esther was doing at this godforsaken conference, but I’m thrilled she (…)
The Invention of The “Hysterical” Woman
I’m reading a fantastic book you need to add to your list called, Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft. It’s about abuse. I know, light reading for your morning, but stay with me. I’d heard it recommended before but didn’t think it was relevant to my life. I was wrong. Something I learned (…)
The Subversive Power of Knowing Your Own Mind
I recently was thrust unexpectedly and unwillingly back into the world of dating. As someone curious about human psychology, it’s been a fascinating gift of content and anthropologic insight. But as a human being with thoughts, feelings, needs, and wants – especially one conditioned as a cishet female – it is horrible. The actual dating (…)
The Physics of Psychology
Today, we know that using a seatbelt prevents death, washing your hands prevents spreading disease and infection, and wearing a helmet prevents concussions. If someone you know bragged about never washing their hands, you would look at them with concern. And, yet, this is precisely what we do with psychology. We boast about never needing (…)
Why We Don’t Tell People About Our Dreams
My first job after college was as a research assistant in a psychiatric research clinic. Part of my job was to conduct assessments of potential participants in our studies on major depression and anxiety. In psychiatry and psychology, since we lack reliable biometrics (for now), we’re reliant on self-report to get an assessment of your (…)
On Failing Spectacularly and Why You Should
Last week I asked the Brainstorm Road waitlist about their dreams. Namely, why they don’t share them: What prevents you from sharing more (in public) about work that lights you up? I hypothesized the answers would be about belonging and rejection. How you don’t want to be mocked for your idea or you feel silly. (…)
A Plea
Today I write with a plea. Don’t quit. I’m watching so many people around me turn to stone. They quit. They quit trying, chasing, wanting. They quit caring. Life has, understandably, taken them down. Life will always do its best to erode your soul and often it succeeds. I worry about people like us who (…)