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Psychology

Meaningful Text Series: The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner

If there is one psychologist whose work has influenced my life more than anyone, it’s Dr. Harriet Lerner. And Dr. Ramani. And Dr. Eger. And Dr. Judith Herman. Ok, there are many. But if you don’t know who Dr. Lerner is, this podcast is a good place to start.​ Dr. Lerner’s book The Dance of Anger (terrible title, wonderful book) quite literally blew (…)

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livin' the dream, photo of family on the beach

Livin the Dream (But Whose Dream Is It?)

Dreaming is a topic we reserve for Kindergarten and elementary school. I move we upgrade this topic to an adult one because we’re making a royal mess of it lately. We’ve confused dreams with escapism and naivety. And we’ve normalized pedestaling the dreams of those who came before us over our own, resulting in outcomes (…)

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What I Would Like For Mother’s Day

About eight years ago I was at a conference that was mostly a waste of time until the last day when I found myself at a round table with the Patron Saint of Relationship Wisdom,  Dr. Esther Perel.  I couldn’t tell you what someone like Esther  was doing at this godforsaken conference, but I’m thrilled she (…)

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The Invention of The “Hysterical” Woman

I’m reading a fantastic book you need to add to your list called, Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft. It’s about abuse. I know, light reading for your morning, but stay with me. I’d heard it recommended before but didn’t think it was relevant to my life. I was wrong. Something I learned (…)

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The Subversive Power of Knowing Your Own Mind

I recently was thrust unexpectedly and unwillingly back into the world of dating. As someone curious about human psychology, it’s been a fascinating gift of content and anthropologic insight. But as a human being with thoughts, feelings, needs, and wants – especially one conditioned as a cishet female – it is horrible. The actual dating (…)

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The Physics of Psychology

Today, we know that using a seatbelt prevents death, washing your hands prevents spreading disease and infection, and wearing a helmet prevents concussions. If someone you know bragged about never washing their hands, you would look at them with concern. And, yet, this is precisely what we do with psychology. We boast about never needing (…)

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Why We Don’t Tell People About Our Dreams

My first job after college was as a research assistant in a psychiatric research clinic. Part of my job was to conduct assessments of potential participants in our studies on major depression and anxiety. In psychiatry and psychology, since we lack reliable biometrics (for now), we’re reliant on self-report to get an assessment of your (…)

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On Failing Spectacularly and Why You Should

Last week I asked the Brainstorm Road waitlist about their dreams. Namely, why they don’t share them: What prevents you from sharing more (in public) about work that lights you up? I hypothesized the answers would be about belonging and rejection. How you don’t want to be mocked for your idea or you feel silly. (…)

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