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Can You “Make” Someone Feel Something?
One of the core principles of Stoicism is accepting responsibility. Accepting responsibility for how you feel, what you did, and what happened. “Blame yourself or blame no one.” – Mr. Marcus Aurelius is famous for having said. As someone who over-indexes on self-blame, I have a bone to pick with Mr. Aurelius on this one. (…)
Times Are Heavy But We Need Not Be
We called my grandmother Mimi. Mimi used to say she’d need a nap after talking to me because I talked too fast and the topics were heavy. I’m comfortable in heavy. It’s my happy place because I have lots of questions and I can’t find answers in the superficial stuff. Yes, sure, the weather is (…)
Rich, Powerful, and Empty
Tommy. F&^#king. Shelby. (You have to read that in a Birmingham British accent: Foooohhhk-ing) Tommy Foooohhhk-ing Shelby is the protagonist of Netflix’s best series of all time: Peaky Blinders. I’ve watched the entire six seasons from start to finish many times (#protip use captions) and each time my love/hate for this man grows. He is (…)
What Will You Do With That?
The way we speak to people brave enough to endure bankruptcy for the pursuit of knowledge is unkind: “That’s impractical.” “How much will you be able to earn?” “Who cares about that though?” “What kind of jobs can you get with that degree?” “Who will hire you?” “But what will you do with that?” To (…)
Let It Be Worth Your Time
It’s Charlotte Brontë’s fault. The first third of Jane Eyre is unbearably boring and then – out of nowhere – you cannot put it down. As a result, I’m committed to slogging through books I should quit on because just maybe they’ll redeem themselves two-quarters of the way through. That is why my inability to (…)
What Is The Point of This Meeting?
Finding the perfect coffee shop is a commitment. Of love, but also, practicality. Your perfect place needs reliable wifi, access to outlets, decent lighting, comfy seats, and most of all – No interruptions. No one who speaks to you when you have headphones on, no one taking a personal call on speakerphone (WHY do people (…)
But She’s a Good Person
I’m learning a lot about the Midwest now that I live here. Drivers are friendlier. Almost anyone will let you into their lane. NO ONE HONKS. They’ll sit at a green light for 45 seconds while you finish your text message and not say a word. They’ll even inquire if you need anything and help (…)
We’re Connected But Not Connecting
The older I get the more important friendship feels and the less attended to it becomes. It got me wondering: what is friendship? Is knowing how you like your coffee, friendship? Is it picking you up from the airport? What about remembering your mom’s name? Or inviting you to happy hour after work? I have a (…)
Be Wary of Anyone Selling You Certainty
About a decade ago I went down the rabbit hole of learning about food. I started with the woo-woo stuff (Kris Carr’s book isn’t bad), did a stint with the conspiracy theorists (Forks Over Knives, Anything about gluten and your brain), and then graduated to the promised land of Michael Pollan. If you haven’t read The Omnivore’s (…)
It’s ok not to know something
Trust in institutions is at an all-time low, with, I think, good reason. However, it appears we’ve overcorrected because now we claim to, “do our own research,” and cite, “this person I follow on TikTok,” Reddit threads, and Instagram memes. Listen. I love the democratization of information, but our absolute trust in non-peer-reviewed assertions that (…)